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150+ Funny Whatsapp Status and Bio Ideas
Everyone enjoys spreading humor by posting amusing status updates on Whatsapp. But some humor is necessary to make it truly funny. To get you started, check out these humorous Whatsapp status updates and Whatsapp bio ideas. After reading this amusing Whatsapp status, consider a cute idea that will make your friends and followers smile. Additionally, you are free to use our collection of amusing Whatsapp status messages exactly as is or modify them to suit your tastes by adding an epic twist. Post a humorous status update on your profile or in the WhatsApp about section. You can also text these to your friends and family. These amusing remarks will also work nicely as your funny photo captions. Enjoy!
Funny Whatsapp Status
Life is like an ice cream Enjoy it before it melts.
Time is precious. Waste it wisely.
I follow the quote, “Always Be True To Yourself” because I only lie to others!
Children in the dark make accidents, but accidents in the dark make children.
Women may not hit harder. But they hit lower.
Dear problems… Please give me some discount… I am your regular customer.
The man is the head, but the woman is the neck. And she can turn the head any way she wants.
I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle! He’s dreaming too.
With great power comes to a great electricity bill.
So, you’re checking my status.
My “last seen at” was just to check your “last seen at”.
Hey, you are reading my status again?
Life is all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship’s kitchen.
I don’t need keys to drive you crazy. I have something else….. guess it!
I swear it if looks could kill, I’d be a weapon of mass destruction.
I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.
I am not perfect, but I am a limited edition.
Never laugh at your partner’s choices… You’re one of them.
Life is too short. Don’t waste it removing the pen drive safely.
I’m not actually this tall. I’m sitting on my wallet.
There’s always a person that you hate for no reason.
If you tickle me, I’m not responsible for your injuries.
How can I miss something I never had?
Everything is funnier when you’re supposed to be quiet.
I want to get close with you like, shoes with laces, teeth with braces or asentencewithoutspaces.
Home is where the bra isn’t.
I heard you’re a player. Nice to meet you, I’m the coach.
First, they laugh. Then they copy.
I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with ’em later.
I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
Be smarter than your smartphone.
Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?
I was wondering if you had an extra heart. Mine was just stolen.
You don’t like me. That’s a shame. I’ll need a few minutes to recover from the tragedy.
Hello, I’m a thief, and I’m here to steal your heart.
I wanna live in your socks so I can be with you every step of the way.
I love my six-pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.
If you treat me like an option, I’ll leave you like a choice.
Funny Whatsapp Bio
I’m too lazy to stop being lazy.
Even the Joker is jealous of my smile.
Never give up on your dreams keep sleeping.
Guilty as charged! My hotness caused global warming.
Life is too short to be updating WhatsApp Bios.
Okay, I’m pretty sure this isn’t my home planet.
This will be my last WhatsApp Bio ever.
I love my Haters, they make me Famous.
Me? Mature? I still laugh when the ketchup bottle “FARTS”.
I really want to work so hard. But being lazy is so much fun.
Make your weird light shine bright, so the other weirdos know where to find you.
Shopping is an art. I am an artist. Respect Please.
Wait, where am I? And how in the world did I get here?
I’m so good at sleeping I can do it with my eyes closed!
Sassy, classy, and bad-assy.
Naturally and artificially flavored.
Just another papercut survivor.
I stopped fighting with my inner demons. We are on the same side now.
I want someone to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
I’m not single. I’m not taken. I’m simply on reserve for the one who deserves my heart.
In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision-maker.
I talk to myself because I like dealing with a better class of people.
Life taught me a lot of lessons but I banked those classes.
I don’t have an attitude problem. I have an attitude. The problem is yours.
I would call my fashion style “clothes that still fit.”
Hey you, yeah I’m talking to you, why the hell are you reading my “Whatsapp Bio”?
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Funny Whatsapp Status In English
If you are BAD then I am your DAD.
Yes, of course, I am athletic… I surf the Internet every day.
Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.
Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up.
If you’re hotter than me, then that means I’m cooler than you.
My wallet is like an onion, opening it makes me cry.
Just saw the smartest person when I was in front of the mirror.
I wish I could mute people in real life.
I don’t need a hairstylist; my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
My six-pack is protected by a layer of fat.
Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I’m tired of solving them for you.
I’m not running away from hard work, I’m too lazy to run.
If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me.
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
Stop checking my last seen, text me when you miss me.
My drug test came back negative. My dealer sure has some explaining to do.
I don’t get older, I level up.
Life is like ice cream, enjoy it before it melts.
I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.
My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.
A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.
I’m not fat, I’m just easy to see.
We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a workstation.
The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once!
Save water drink beer.
I love my job only when I’m on vacation…..
The only time SUCCESS comes before WORK is in Dictionary.
Why God, why? Why do beautiful girls not have brains?
Don’t drink while driving – you will spill the beer.
Congratulations! My tallest finger wants to give you a standing ovation.
Can I take your picture? I love to collect pictures of natural disasters.
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
Please be patient even a toilet can handle only one asshole at a time.
Funny Whatsapp Status Ideas
Keep moving! Nothing new to read…
I work for money, for loyalty hire a dog.
I would lose weight, but I hate losing.
Silence is the best response to a fool.
You cannot stop the waves but you can learn to surf.
Life without mistakes is like, education without books.
I know what you did recently – you just read this status message!
Every Whatsapp status is a secret message for someone.
Friends are forever until they get in a relationship.
I drink to make other people interesting.
Never laugh at your wife’s choices. You’re one of them.
I just asked my husband if he remembers what today is… Scaring men is easy.
I don’t go looking for trouble. Trouble usually finds me.
You can either be right, or you can be the husband.
I have a lot of jokes about unemployed people but none of them work.
They say “Love is in the air.” Maybe that’s why there is so much air pollution these days.
Who needs television when there is so much drama on Whatsapp?
They say good things take time… that’s why I’m always late.
I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true.
Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.
People say I act like I don’t care. It’s not an act.
Mosquitos are like family. Annoying but they carry your blood.
I’m not a photographer, but I can picture myself and you together.
Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can’t see.
I have enough money to last me the rest of my life unless I buy something.
If you don’t succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried.
Save paper, Don’t do homework.
Take care of your status, don’t be a caretaker of my status.
I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision-maker.
Yesterday I did nothing and today I’m finishing what I did yesterday.
Whenever I find the key to SUCCESS, someone changes the LOCK.
Smile today, tomorrow could be worse.
I don’t believe in miracles. I rely on them.
Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.
I haven’t slept for 10 days because that would be too long.
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Funny Whatsapp Status Message
Someday you’ll go far, and I hope you stay there.
Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
I feel sorry for the person who writes terms and conditions… nobody read that.
I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.
If you wear a bikini you’re showing 90% of your body. I’m so polite, I only look at the covered parts.
The greatest advantage of speaking the truth is that you don’t have to remember what you said.
Life was much easier when APPLE and BLACKBERRY were just fruits.
Teaching your own mother how to use Facebook is like willingly signing your own death warrant.
I put my heart and soul into my work and lost my brain in the process.
Sorry about those texts I sent you last night, my phone was drunk.
Don’t worry about what I’m doing, worry about why you’re worried about what I’m doing.
Life is too short to be serious all the time. So, if you can’t laugh at yourself, call me I will laugh at you.
If you’re talking behind my back, you’re in the perfect position to kiss my a**!
Speak when you’re angry and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret.
The police called to say one of my friends escaped from a mental hospital. Which one of you crazies got out and where should I pick you up?
This Dog, Is Dog, A Dog, Good Dog, Way Dog, To Dog, Keep Dog, An Dog, Idiot Dog, Busy Dog, For Dog, 30 Dog, Seconds Dog!… Now read without the word dog.
What is your mom’s phone number? I want to thank her for creating you.
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
Think about it… every time we look back at ourselves five years ago we think we were an idiot.
Fact: Phone on silent mode- 10 Missed calls… Turns volume too loud- Nobody calls all day!
Excuse me, but I saw you from across the internet and wanted to see if your bytes are compatible with mine.
If I were a stoplight, I’d turn red every time you passed by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer.
Babe, you are so fine. The only way you could look better is by hanging on my arm.
I’m writing a paper for my Ph.D., now please tell me what is the most overused pick-up line you have ever heard?
If I’m vinegar, then you must be baking soda. Because you make me feel all bubbly inside!
For a moment I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Now I see that I am still living, but heaven has been brought to me.
You may fall from the sky, you may fall from the tree, but the best way to fall….is in love with me.
The smile on your face is radiant, the glow on your cheeks is beautiful, and my lips on your lips would be magical.